“Are you going to have a 3rd baby?”

This question really doesn’t bother me… but the fact that I don’t know the answer does.  I feel like I seriously contemplate this topic every single day, almost to the point that it annoys me.  Are we going to have another baby?  The answer is “We don’t know yet…”

When Juliet was first born, I knew I didn’t want her to be my last baby.  I was in love with having her, cuddling her, watching her, and just having her sweetness in our house.  It’s amazing having a newborn, the lack of sleep doesn’t affect me terribly and the happy/sappy emotions are like non other.  After Amelia’s birth my first thoughts were, “I don’t want to do that for a long time,” but after Juliet’s I distinctly remember thinking, “That wasn’t so bad, I could do that again.”  I’m not going to lie, there are definitely some trying moments with a small baby in the house, but it is nothing compared to the love and pride you feel for your children.

I admit as she gets older it gets easier and sometimes the thought “I can do without going through that again,” goes through my mind.  But can I do without those first smiles and seeing how sweet the girls are together?  I can do without nursing for an entire year and not fitting in my pants for months after being pregnant, but can I do without feeling the sweetness of our new baby sleeping soundly on my chest?  I can do without the intense worry I feel when leaving my babies for work but can I do without an amazing and unique connection to another child?  When I think about it logistically, obviously two children would be easier.  But when I think about how much love a child fills the world with, it feels impossible to NOT want another.

It seems like most of my friends are so sure about the number of kids they want.  After their 2nd, several friends matter-of-factly stated, “We’re done!”  Does the fact that we don’t feel that way mean we’re meant to expand our brood?  I’m trying my best to really enjoy our family as it is now and be thankful that having another baby is even a physical possibility for our family.  I know we’ll cross that bridge in another year or so, but the uncertainty sometimes gets to me.  Are we going to have a 3rd baby?  Maybe we’ll go with, “If we’re lucky…”

How did you decide how many children would be right for your family?  Or was it somehow decided for you by a higher power? : )